Obama as Othello ; A Shakespeare Parody. Act 2 Scene 4 - The Election Night of 2008.

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Obama as Othello ; A Shakespeare Parody. Act 2 Scene 4

The Election Night of 2008.

It is November election night after the American people have voted for their new US President. In a television studio, presenter Richard Iago announces the result to his TV audience.

Iago : It's Obama! Yes folks! It's Obama! We have just heard that John McCain has indeed conceded the Presidential race. So we can expect the full liberty of feasting and a night of revels among the euphoric members and supporters of the Democrat Party. Let's go straight over to their campaign headquarters where amongst ecstatic scenes is Harold Brabantio. You'll certainly be a most happy man tonight Harold,

Brabantio : You betcha! Way to go Obama! Way to go! Strike the tinder and let's proclaim him in the streets. We have a new Democrat President,

Iago : And of course, as we said before, with those extra syllables to prove it as well,

Brabantio : Damn right! And we'll be chanting every one of them loud and proud in Chicago tonight that's for sure,

Iago : History in the making Mike Roderigo. Congratulations are certainly in order,

Roderigo : I guess so, Obama broke the two syllable stranglehold. I should've known he would though because he also has that proper forename in conjunction with the tri-syllabic surname. He'll always be named 'Othello'. No-one is gonna start calling him 'Otty' or anything like that are they now? I just can't see it. The Democrats have finally cottoned on to the importance of that full Christian name,

Iago : Ah! At least you ain't saying he's a Muslim now,

Roderigo : I still think he's African,

Iago : Whatever you say, but yes he must be the first Democrat President since Lyndon Johnson back in 1964 to be called by his full Sunday name,

Roderigo : Correct! But then the two subsequent Democrat administrations lost some major credibility because of that issue. Too much informality, too folksy. It was never 'President James Carter', I guess being a peanut farmer that wasn't so surprising, and it was never 'President William Clinton' either you know. The names 'Jimmy' and 'Bill' just didn't have that statesman-like gravitias that can carry you through a Presidency unscathed. It certainly didn't work for me or many other people in America,

Iago : Despite those snappy two-syllable surnames,

Roderigo : Couldn't save their Presidencies. Carter's went down in the sands of the Iranian Desert during the hostage crisis and Clinton's went down with Monica Lewinsky,

Iago : Or vice-versa?

Roderigo : Whoever came first. Adds new meaning to the expression "Make head against my reputation" but the Republicans knew the importance of a proper Christian name. You couldn't really mess around with 'George' too much and you hardly ever heard Reagan being called 'Ronnie', not in serious circles anyway. It was always 'Ronald Reagan'. This is in the history and tradition of American politics. I mean, if we spoke about 'Tommy Jefferson' he would've sounded less of a legendary statesman and more like some crummy Vaudeville comedian or a baseball star,

Brabantio : What about 'Tricky Dicky' then Mike?

Roderigo : Just reinforces my theory Harold. It was Richard Nixon all the way until Watergate. Only after he disgraced himself by getting caught did he become 'Dick'. Kind of unfortunate choice of birth-name in hindsight I guess but how were his good parents to know?

Iago : OK Mike! Circumstances certainly dictated the negative re-branding there but wasn't his successor always 'Gerry' rather than Gerald Ford,

Brabantio : Can I butt in here?  Because he was a bit of a dick too Richard, no offence by the way, but he kept falling over his own feet. Of course it was regrettable that some crazy chick tried to assassinate him but it was always a race to see if he would do himself some major damage before someone else did,

Iago : Like I always say we get the most sophisticated political analyses on this programme. Now! Let's go over to the Republican Campaign Headquarters where John McCain is giving his concession speech,

At the Republican Campaign Headquarters John McCain rises to the podium to polite applause and addresses his supporters,

McCain :

The people have spoken and made their new choice,

Alas not me, so I feel quite forlorn,

They burned up in anger and raised up their voice,

And then voted in this hip, young greenhorn.

.

We fought him hard, we fought him well,

None more than Joe the Plumber,

Out on the Plains we gave him hell,

As things got dumb and dumber.

.

But thanks to Sarah for running the race,

She'll keep those oil-wells drillin',

Remember all her style and grace,

And not her TV grillin'.

.

But now thin habits and poor likelihoods,

Await you in the future,

He speaks of change, a change for good,

But he'll tax you to a stupor.

.

So farewell my friends, good luck and best wishes,

The words catch in my throat,

For soon America will be feeding the fishes,

Going down in a Democrat boat.

More applause from his supporters as McCain waves farewell and departs the scene. Back at the studio, Richard Iago reflects on the speech

Iago : That was John McCain giving his concession speech to his campaign workers over there. A earnest message full of portent and dread warnings there Mike?

Roderigo : Yeah! But it's too late now folks,

Iago : What say you Harold? Don't you think that McCain is voicing some serious concerns shared by many among the American people?

Brabantio : No! I think he pissed all over Obama!

Iago : Well maybe Obama will need to get used to that pretty quickly. He maybe won't get much grace in victory once the euphoria dies down. One lady who sure won't let him get carried away is our next guest. Live from the Republican HQ we have the ex-Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin on the link. Good morning Governor Palin,

Palin : Is that real fur on that big ol' microphone boom there?

Iago : Governor Palin! Can you hear us? Governor Palin!

Palin : Looks like Alaskan wolf-hide to me but with the shape of that thing it's as big as a Polar Bear's p.......

Iago : Governor Palin!!!!!

Palin : Oh hello Richard, are we on?

Iago : Sorry! Yeah we had a slight hitch,

Palin : Yeah, life's a bitch, ain't it just.....

Iago : Hold on! We still got problems, we'll get you hooked up with a small radio microphone ............ That's it! ....... Can you hear us clearly now?

Palin : Loud and clear Richard, how ya doing goldarn it?

Iago : I'm fine but more to the point what about you? You must be disappointed. How did you guys lose this one?

Palin : Well you know, I could say it was God's will but I don't believe the Good Lord is cruel enough to put a Democrat in the White House. Could only be the malignant spell of Beelzebub himself I reckon cos it was a victory for image, polished words and a slick PR machine.

I think we lost because Obama looked better in a suit and because he had that alley-cat swagger and assured cool when he strolled on stage. It was always gonna drive the women voters wild. I swear sometimes when he picked up that microphone he was gonna start singing some laid-back, lounge lizard routine to make the female audience wet their panties big style. He's a one-man Brat-Pack but if the American people want a song and dance man that's up to them,

Iago : So you think the female demographic was crucial?

Palin : Oh for sure! That and the idiot vote,

Brabantio : We thought you'd slam dunk that one Sarah,

Palin : Well Harold you know it just goes to show that Abraham Lincoln knew what he was talking about when he said "You can sum up the fools in the summertime but you can't fool all the sums at election time"

Iago : Slight paraphrasing there. What exactly does it mean?

Palin : Hell I dunno, I never said it!

Brabantio : It's the economy, stupid,

Palin : Who you calling stupid?

Brabantio : Just a little paraphrasing too Sarah,

Iago : Kinda more like a direct quote dontcha think?

Palin : Well I don't know paraphrases from a pair a' braces, all I do know is that this is a Caretaker Presidency and we'll be right back at ya for 2012.

Iago : So will you run for the Presidency in 2012 then Governor Palin?

Palin : Hey! I'm a huntress and if the prey gets away then I'll go for him big time. A wounded political animal leaves an easy trail to get chasin' after his sorry ass and I'll keep on after him until I bring home the kill,

Iago : So you've still got your sights on the White House?

Palin : Who knows? Someone else might just do that if this jerk-off screws up the country. Keep your head down Obama!

Iago : On that defiant note we'll say goodnight. Thank you Governor Palin.

Palin : By y'all, goldarn it!

Iago : There you go Harold, Governor Palin talking tough for the Republicans and still fighting the good fight it seems,

Harold : All the way down to the canvas before the last bell but this dumbell couldn't save McCain cos she's the best running-mate the Democrats never had. Punched way above her weight. She should stick to chasing Bullwinkle through the woods,

Roderigo : Aw c'mon Harold! She had lots of good points to make. Obama ran a slick campaign, he's the new 'American Idol' cos this is bubblegum politics of the lowest-grade pop media culture. They bought a no-talent, poster boy of the instant celebrity generation. Give him a part in 'Oceans Fourteen' if they want, he'll fit in with the smooth crowd for sure, give George Clooney a run for his money. The American public have got him under their skin and they're soon gonna regret that,

Iago : All the Republicans singing from the same song sheet then,

Brabantio: Yeah they're singing 'The Party's Over' or maybe even............

Iago : Sorry to interrupt you Harold,

Harold : The hell you ain't!!

Iago : No really! Because behind you President-Elect Othell'Obama is ready to take the platform to give his victory speech

Brabantio : Oh Yeah! Bring it on!! Harr Harr Harr!!

At the Democrat Campaign Headquarters Othell'Obama rises to the podium to uproarious applause and the strains of 'You're the Tops' as the crowd go wild. He calls for calm and, with his wife Michelle by his side, addresses his rapturous supporters,

Obama:

What conjuration and what mighty magic,

Our greatest wish en-masse,

We softened the cynic, raised the lethargic,

And kicked them in the ass.

.

When remedies are past, the griefs are ended,

For Bush, the final curtain,

By seeing the worst which late on hopes depended,

Like Dick at Halliburton.

.

To mourn a mischief that is past and gone,

To vouch this is no proof,

Our great good name went down the john,

And the debt straight through the roof.

.

Of wordly matters and direction,

We must obey the time,

We will not hear that age-old anthem,

Brother, Can you spare a dime.

.

This brand new marriage of hearts and minds,

With my people's hopes a-hangin',

We all go forth and together we chime,

Except for Pat Buchanan.

.

So give renewed fire to our extinct spirit,

Mine's not an idle cause,

This brother's in the house, your votes will merit

And we'll show them all who's boss.

A huge round of applause interspersed with deafening cheers erupts at his speech.

Othell'Obama soaks in the ovation as his wife Michelle and his daughters appear on stage.

The network goes back to the studio;

Iago : And there you have it folks, Obama is in the House,

Brabantio : And this house is rockin' tonight fellas. Now I gotta go, gotta go empty a 12-year old bottle of malt Scotch whisky fresh off the boat. Time for me to join this shindig and cut loose on the dancefloor. Goodnight everybody!,

Roderigo : You're gonna need a few more stiff shots of that stuff over the next four years buddy. We're coming atcha!!

Iago : Thank you Harold. And that's all from me folks. Sorry we've been running a little late. So if you're still hanging on for 'Celebrity All-Star Tobacco Spit' don't worry as it'll be right up here after the commercials. But tonight we have a Democrat heading for the West Wing. Any last words Mike?

Roderigo: The purchase made, the fruits are to ensue.

Iago : Thank you Mike Roderigo. And I've been Richard Iago folks. Good night and good luck,

Roderigo : That's right people, good luck! Cos you're gonna need it!

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