Obama as Othello ; A Shakespeare Parody. Act 3 Scene 1 - President Obama's First 100 Days.

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Obama as Othello ; A Shakespeare Parody. Act 3 Scene 1

President Obama's First 100 Days.

It is 100 days into the new Presidency for Othell'Obama.

He meets up in the Oval Office with his Vice-President Joe Biden and special advisor Harold Brabantio.

Biden: Well Othello! Three months into the job and things are going pretty well,

Obama: Yeah! Real good so far but I can't believe that I've gave out almost 800 billion dollars to Wall Street through TARP. Never believe the estimates they always say. Trust the banks to wheedle as much as they can get. We'd better keep an eye on the small print in future,

Biden: At least the bill got through Congress and the public fell for it. The polls are looking good.

Brabantio: Absolutely! The number of folks that think the country is on the right track is up 23 points. That sure is something.

Obama: No! That sure is Newsweek. Just wait and see what happens when the Health Insurance Bill gets put in front of their noses. We stuck it to them with abortion and stem-cells so they'll be gunnin for us that's for sure. The Republicans don't mind a little share out of the goodies for their pals in Big Money circles but when it comes to Mommas hip-joint replacement she better start washing stairs to pay for it cos they ain't gonna let it happen,

Biden: Maybe we should have got the bankers out washing stairs,

Obama: Ha Ha! Good one Joe. Yeah, get them working weekends picking litter or digging ditches. Make them pay off their own debt. It's a New Deal for bad dealers,

Brabantio: That reminds me Othello, you've had one of the best starts since Roosevelt I guess,

Obama: Nah! I couldn't match that guy,

Biden: I guess not. He legalised beer,

Obama: There you go then. Ain't no way I could beat that dude. Not unless we started selling marijuana in the 7/11's,

Brabantio: I'd put that way down your list of priorites if I were you,

Biden: Sound advice. But anyway LBJ had a great first one hundred too you know,

Obama: Then look what the hell happened!

Brabantio: Don't worry. I don't see a Tet Offensive looming on the horizon,

Obama: Maybe a Fox hunt then dudes. But look! We got away with bailing out the friggin banks. Surely somethings gotta hit us. I can't be that lucky,

Brabantio: Things look okay on the Afghanistan front. But I think you should consider changing Generals. McKiernan isn't much good but as I said Cassio McChrystal wouldn't give you any problems if you decided to pick him,

Obama: Still a mess that place and we gotta send 20,000 more troops to clean it up. Hillary reckons Karzai is a hopeless jerk and the whole government is totally corrupt,

Brabantio: Not all bad news then,

Obama: What? Are you jivin me?

Brabantio: Not all all. That's just the kind of half-assed administration we can handle no problem. No problem at all,

Biden: That's right Othello. Would you rather have someone like Chavez running the show and stealing our oil,

Brabantio: Mmm that's right and maybe it wasn't such a good idea to shake hands publicly with him. It doesn't look good getting too cosy with left-wing demagogues,

Obama: It didn't do Bush no harm with Tony Blair

Brabantio: No! But Newt Gingrich certainly tore a piece off you for that glad handing with the Venezuelan

Obama: Look! I ain't ever gonna listen to a man with a frog for a name

Biden: All the same, as your advisor on the Middle East I'd be careful about appearing too soft on our enemies

Obama: Just reaching out. It's destiny unshunnable my friends

Brabantio: For sure. But just watch out that you don't overreach your grasp. We gotta be extra special careful about Iran,

Obama: Careful? Hell, I wrote them two nice letters and sent a friendly video. All they did was bitch about Carter and Reagan and the goddamned Shah. Plus Ron Paul and that Scott Ritter are sounding off again about them having no nuclear capability,

Brabantio: Don't worry. We can easily deal with Ritter,

Obama: How?

Brabantio: Easy! According to the FBI anyway. They think he likes schoolgirls,

Obama: Oh! I see. Politics sure is a dirty business,

Biden: Talking of which. How is the dog doin?,

Obama: Oh, our little Bo is still doing his doings as he does. But not too bad now. We got plenty of carpet cleaner but we make sure we keep him out of the Oval Office anyway. The Turkish Ambassador stood on one and kinda saw it as something symbolic. We had a major diplomatic effort on our hands. But he's OK. We smoothed things over with a few dollars and an arms deal,

Brabantio: Apart from that you feeling any pressure,

Obama: Well it's farewell the tranquil mind, farewell content that's for sure, but I can handle it. Apart maybe from all that hassle getting the subcabinet in place. And there was me trying to give up the smokes. I was going through a pack of Reds a day during that. Just my luck to pick Geithner. Imagine taking on a Treasury Secretary who got caught screwing the IRS for 34,000 dollars.

Brabantio: We've survived that but just don't let the Press catch you sparkin up. Stick with gymnasiums, walks on the White House lawn with the kids and the dog. Wholesome, clean-cut and healthy,

Obama: It ain't easy dudes I tell ya. Wish I'd done a Management course at College. You wouldn't believe the trouble I've had working out the shift rotas here. Do you know that I've gotta count count the petty cash every night before I go. And that's just for the coffee and cookie supplies

Biden: Don't worry Othello. We're always around to help you. Anything you need we can provide,

Obama: Maybe you should have given me a map of this place when I started. On my first day I went for a pee and ended up in the boiler room,

Brabantio: These things happen. I heard it once took Bush 10 minutes to find the door in this room. Ha Ha!

Obama: You think it's funny Harold? I couldn't find it neither.

Biden: Oh Ho Ho Ho! Sorry Othello but that is funny.

Obama: What you laughing at blabbermouth? That loose tongue of yours got us into enough trouble. We got more leaks than a Urology Ward around here with you shooting off that big mouth. You think you're so clever? Try explaining what all this derivative mumbo-jumbo is all about.

Biden: A derivative?

Obama: Yeah! A derivative,

Biden: You mean a financial derivative?

Obama: Yup! Unless you wanna discuss differential calculus,

Biden: Why erm......ah...... that's simple......erm .... a derivative is something that derives from an asset you see,

Obama: That's incisive I must say, is that the best you can do?

Biden: No no! It's a financial instrument,

Obama: Which means?

Biden: It's .....erm..... an agreement between two parties and...... and ..... it's .... ah..... based on an underlying asset kinda thing,

Obama: Yes, and?

Biden: Eh..... and there's lots of different types,

Obama: Which are?

Biden: Oh loads Obama, so many to mention like, you know, swaps, futures etcetera, etcetera

Obama: So what do they do Joe? C'mon now!,

Biden: They screw up the economy,

Obama: Not a bad answer but, hey! you stick to Foreign Policy and I'll do the Math. And right now it's another 800 billion to get the economy shifting not to mention Chrysler and General Motors unless you all want to be driving Japanese next year.

Brabantio: Well I don't know Obama. I had a really nice Toyota once,

Obama: Well I tell ya Harold if we don't get our fingers out our asses, you'll be travelling down Pennsylvania Avenue in something simpler.

Brabantio: What's that?

Obama: In a rickshaw dude, a rickshaw!

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